Episode 3: Oh Barry, I'm Not Your Daddy

Episode Summary
The session picks up with the party alone with the injured Orc from the Shadow Guard. He was cut off from the rest of his squad who fled back to the Shadow Grove.

Barra having learnt that the Orc speaks Common, assures him that the party will not hurt him but will tie him up as a precaution. He signals Kaman to throw his rope over and binds the guard, who doesn't resist. Kaman and Kie decide to inspect the rock spikes that the Shadow Guards conjured earlier. Barra tells Yrsa to leave the interrogation to him. Yrsa allows it, narrows her eyes at the Orc guard and says 'Tell him what he wants to know' and walks over to Kaman and Kie to inspect the rock spikes. Kaman consults his gem on his forehead to learn more about the rock spikes but isn't able to find a way to undo them or remove them. The party could try digging through them however but it may take hours. Barra illuminates his breast plate and shines light into the Orc guard's face. The party learns that the Orc's name is Akras Dhiman. After exchanging 'pleasantries', Barra casts a Words of Terror spell to threaten him 'Well, if you don't tell us what we wanna hear, maybe you won't be 'da man' any more? Maybe you'll just be a smear on a door, of blood and guts and uh, whatever it is you're wearing. I think that looks rather nice actually.' Akras looks back at Barra, deadpan, '...So what d'you wanna know, then?'. Barra uneasily asks 'So, just to check with you then, so are you frightened of me? Are you in a little bit terrified?' Akras says flatly 'I mean, yeah you're terrifying.' Barra claps his hands in affirmation 'All right! It's done it's done!' and calls the party back.

Barra asks Akras why did the Shadow Guard kidnap the emissary and the ambassador. Akras says he was just following orders, 'the orders were to set up, snatch the targets, and return'. But he doesn't specify where the end point is. Barra pushes Akras for the answer but Akras just tells the party to kill him and get on with it as he's considered dead to his people now. Akras tells the party more about himself that he is a member of the Shadow Guard, they hail from the Shadow Grove and his serial number is GX7293. He then insults Barra saying that he 'fucked his mother...and she enjoyed it'. Barra gets triggered, Yrsa calms him down. 'He's trying to get you to kill him.'

Yrsa knows that the Shadow Grove is regarded as a spooky place and is deemed dangerous. It is located on the other side of the Tarim Range mountains. In order to get to the Shadow Grove, she roughly knows the party could go North through the Carambir Pass.

Kaman tries to restraint Barra who is enraged at Akras's taunting, but Barra breaks free, pulls out his rapier and slashes at Akras. 'Don't give in to your hate!' yells Kaman. Akras gets slashed in the stomach but responds by kicking Barra in the groin who yells in excruciating pain. Barra swings his rapier again but Akras traps the blade with his bound hands and clubs Barra hard in the face. Yrsa slashes Akras with her battle axe as if saying 'enough is enough'. Akras stands down.

Akras disses the party for chasing the Shadow Guard saying that they were clearly out of their league. Yrsa says matter of factly that of course they had to because the Shadow Guard took their emissary. After repeated blows from both parties, Akras resigns and he'll stop messing around. Kaman questions Akras why won't he just kill himself or tell the party anything, and is it some honor related code he follows? Akras replies that the party need to be worthy in order for him to reveal anything and finally relents to telling them why the Shadow Grove took the emissary and how to get to the Shadow Grove. The party have untied his hands at this point. Barra decides to stop raging, walks a distance away, plug his ears and sings a parody of 'Karma Chameleon' to calm himself down.Akras can identify that the party are from the Namandan Union and that the emissary was considered collateral damage to the Shadow Grove. He elaborates that there has been a long running battle between the Shadow Grove and the traders of the Sivalai Kingdom. Akras claims that the ambassador Djemana of the Sivalai Kingdom had 'broke faith, broke honor' and left the Shadow Grove for dead instead of sending aid to protect them from their enemies. The people of the Shadow Grove are angry at the betrayal and have thus taken the ambassador to spite the Sivalai Kingdom.

Yrsa calmly tells Akras that because the Shadow Grove also took the Namandan emissary, they naturally will have to respond to this. If his leaders can return her unharmed, everything would be fine. Akras shrugs that he's just a soldier and can't do much as he's protecting his nation's interests but he knows that they probably won't kill their emissary.

Yrsa negotiates with Akras to tell his people to return the emissary and that whatever dealings the Shadow Grove have with the Sivalai Kingdom, is not for the Namandan Union to care. She wants to at least talk to the Shadow Grove leaders about this. At this point, Barra is singing 'Sound of Silence' to himself with his ears plugged. Akras wants a guarantee that if the Shadow Grove returns the emissary, the Namandan Union won't declare war on them, but Yrsa is unable to promise this as that's up to the emissary to make the call.

Akras has a think about it and tells the party to let him have a private moment. The party walk away but keep him in their field of vision.

Akras sends a message to his people via a scroll messaging system. He pulls out a scroll from a tube and a charcoal piece that he uses as a pen. After scrawling his message, he puts the scroll back into the tube, twists it and keeps the tube. Yrsa walks over to Barra and informs him that she thinks the negotiations are successful and that Akras' people may return the emissary. But Barra must keep his cool because if he let's lose, he may jeopardize the negotiations. Barra says he will be cool and think about his 'inner beard'. While Akras waits for a response from his people, he apologizes to Barra for insulting his mother but still continues to heckle him. Barra is riled up but sings 'Sound of Silence' to calm himself down.

Akras gets a response eventually and says that the Namandan emissary is fine, they will not harm her, however the Shadow Grove leaders would like the Namandan Union to cease discussions with the 'Oathbreakers' (the Sivalai Kingdom) and would like to arrange a discussion point. They would like to meet in Southern Marabanda where the party can have their emissary, but she will need to engage in talks with the Shadow Grove leaders. Akras will help navigate the party there however they may need to go through several other underground tribes that are enemies with the Shadow Grove to 'prove their worth' in order to get to South Marabanda. Akras says dryly 'I don't get politicians, they just fuck up everything.' in which Yrsa replies instinctively 'yeah, me too.'

Barra asks Akras if they can see the message as Yrsa can read Orcish. He agrees and passes the message to her to read. Yrsa reads the coded message written in short phrases and nods. Barra asks about the 'secondary targets' in the message and wonders if they're kobolds. Akras says they're troglodytes. Barra has limited knowledge about troglodytes and thinks they're these fossil like creatures. Yrsa asks Akras if he knows what a troglodyte is in which he says its an aggressive, tribal creature.

Akras says he could take them back to the railway to take a mine car to South Marabanda. Yrsa tells the party that they should sneak back in to Samar Junction, steal a mine car and drive to South Marabanda. 'Because I really don't want to give some long ass explanation about how you fuck them and they fucked you and all that shit, no?' Barra wonders if the Fire Newts would have some dynamite or something they could use to blow up the rock spikes blocking the tunnel way instead. Yrsa thinks its a good idea to talk to the Fire Newts since its on the way back to Samar Junction and to take advantage of the hospitality they showed earlier.

The party disarm Akras of his curved blade, tie his hands in the front and decide to head to Billston to see Reeve. Casually, Barra chats with Kie about learning meditation but it seems he is too antsy and agitated to be really trying. He sings 'I'm a Survivor' and dance to himself instead.

Yrsa asks Akras if he was the one who was rude to Reeve earlier, Akras laughs and said that it was his sergeant. It turns out that Reeve invited the Shadow Guard orcs earlier to have tea and wanted to charge them for it! It was not revealed how much Reeve wanted to charge however. Barra says they should still have tea with Reeve anyway because they promised earlier. Kaman and Kie remark that they have no money on them, Barra claims he has 'shit loads of money'. Yrsa tells Barra to pretend he doesn't have much so that the Fire Newts don't rob them.

The party return to Billston with Akras to see Reeve. Reeve is ecstatic and glad to see them but yelps when he sees Akras as he is a large intimidating Orc. Barra asks Reeve upfront if they happen to have any dynamite they could use and promise to have lots of tea with Reeve. To pacify Reeve, Barra sings a parody of 'Hey Jude'. Reeve is absolutely enthralled and says the Fire Newts have blasting charges to pass to the party 'we'll even knock off the extra supplement charges on top of it!'

Reeve's minions come in with detonators, blasting charges, gunpowder as well as trays of cake, refreshments and tea. Reeve hands them the bill which sums up to 72 Gold 48 Silver, 17 Copper. Barra haggles with Reeve to drop the price to 60 Gold and throw in a song. Reeve pauses and says '65 Gold and a song!' Barra looks at the party and asks 'Right, anybody got any money?' in which the party all point to him. Barra sings a variation of 'Total Eclipse of the Heart', and everyone loves it! Reeve applauses 'That was beautiful! 60 Gold please.'

The party enjoy the tea Reeve provides and finds it quite refreshing. Yrsa asks what's in the tea and learns that its made from 'various animal bits'. Yrsa totally regrets asking and feels slightly disturbed. Barra tells the party they all owe him 3 Gold and the party set off back to the tunnel. The Fire Newt sergeant from earlier politely bids them goodbye and says 'do us a favor: go away and don't come back'.

Team 3 make their way back to the tunnel with the stone spikes. Kaman asks if anyone is trained to use gun powder whereby Akras offers to help with the detonation since he's skilled. The way is cleared by the explosive charges and the party are able to pass through the tunnel.

Upon reaching a cavern, Akras says he is really exhausted and asks the party for a break. Yrsa tells Akras to inform his people that the party are on their way and will reach the rendezvous point tomorrow. Akras suggests not to message yet until they're nearer as he can't guarantee the party will reach tomorrow.

The party settle down to rest. Kaman takes the 1st watch and with no incident. Yrsa takes the 2nd Watch. Just as she nears the end of her shift, she feels a strange shuddering in the ground. She asks Akras about it and he agrees its a bad sign and they all need to move, quietly. Yrsa steps over and quietly wakes the other members. Yrsa tells everyone to wait around for 15 minutes to see if the shuddering goes away. It seems there was no further incident after so the party go back to sleep.

Kie does the 3rd watch with no incident. Akras decides to have a chat with Kie 'Monk huh, what possessed you to do that? Seems like no drinking, no fucking, what's the point of that?' in which Kie replies calmly 'Inner peace.' The night passes with no other incident.

Everyone wakes up refreshed the next morning! Barra sings a parody of 'We are family' to get the party pumped and rearing to go! The session ends with Team 3 continuing their journey to Southern Marabanda.

END OF SESSION

Next Episode 4: The Funk of 40 Thousand Years

Previous Episode 2: A Miner Problem

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