Episode 4: The Funk of 40 Thousand Years

Episode Summary
The session begins with the party refreshed and ready to head to Southern Marabanda. Barra kick starts things by singing a parody of the 'Pokemon' theme to inspire the team. Akras asks about the marching orders in which Yrsa says she's leading with Akras in the front since he should know the way. Akras gives vague directions like 'South and Up' which doesn't inspire much confidence in Yrsa. Barra chimes in 'As long as we try our best, we're gonna get through this! COME ON!' Yrsa praises Barra's positive attitude and they start the journey.

The party travel for 15 minutes and encounter tracks from the previous Shadow Guard group. They find another split in the path that heads left or right. Kaman asks Akras about Troglodytes living in the area and how would they identify them. Akras says that troglodytes have a distinct smell. 'they don't bathe'. Barra asks if Akras can smell any Troglodytes now in which Akras pauses and says 'Nope, no Troglodytes.' Barra sighs in relief. Yrsa clarifies with Akras if the previous Shadow Guard group were headed this way to the extraction point and he reconfirms this. Yrsa orders Barra to see which tunnel the group went down.

Barra illuminates his breast plate, Kaman instinctively gets into position to watch for any crossbow bolts. Akras grumbles aloud 'Bit of a warning, my night vision gets affected when you do that.'. 'Ah fuck off.' mutters Barra in reply. Barra finds that the tracks have split: a set of tracks goes to the left tunnel but back tracks and joins the tracks on the right. Barra updates the party with his findings and tells them to go right. Everyone agrees and they take the right tunnel. Yrsa asks Akras if this path seems familiar, in which he replies 'Oh. I've never been here before.' 'Okaaay~' says Yrsa hesitantly. Akras explains it's because his squad entered another way, this is the exit route.

The party head down the tunnel and find themselves at another cavern opening. Barra remembers from some 3rd Year Geography class that the there's a way to tell which way is going up from the rock formations on the cavern wall, so they could be able to discern where they are in terms of depth underground. Barra says 'Ok guys, the rock is soft here, but I think Kie should punch it. Just to show that its soft. I learnt about this in Geography. I have this theory to figure out if we're higher or lower.' The party look at him confused. Yrsa seems to click, she tells Kie. 'So he means to say, if you punch this rock. And you can punch it, and the rock is soft which means...' 'the rock is soft' states Barra. Yrsa continues 'So if we go somewhere else, and we punch the rock and its hard, then how?' 'Then I break my hand.' says Kie. The party pause awkwardly. 'Alright, let's go!' says Barra breaking the silence.

Kaman looks up at the cavern to see it is 30-40 feet high and hears the flutter of bat wings. Kaman draws the party's attention to the bats. 'Are we going to combat? If not we can just move on' asks Yrsa. Kaman says that if bats exist in the space means they must have come from somewhere. Bats don't live underground, they live in caves. 'And caves have access to the-' 'soft rock' says Barra confidently. Kaman looks at Barra with the 'what are you stupid?!?' look. Barra says quietly '...I'm gonna go punch the wall...' The party carry on moving while Barra shakes his fingers because the soft rock was still pretty hard to punch.

As they progress, the environment grows darker. Kaman tells the party to keep their noses peeled for foul smells of Troglodytes. As Yrsa notices the tracking have become noticeably difficult, she sends Kaman to the front, followed by herself, Akras, Kie and Barra. Kaman sees that there's a turn in the path ahead and a dull red glow casting on the wall at the end of the turn. Kaman points to the light ahead and tells Barra to kill his breast plate light. Yrsa tells everyone that she will scount ahead. Akras will be around if there's trouble. Yrsa stealths and sneaks right up to the curve, she slowly peeks an eye round the corner.

She sees there's a solid stone cabin planted in the cavern and around it are flagstones that have become moldy. Stalactites suspend from the top of the cavern. There is a stone statue of a horned, aggressive creature but looks heraldic. It is posed in a leaping position with fangs bared. It is large and 9 feet tall, almost touching the top of the stalagmites. Behind its head is a source of glowing orange light, its eyes glow the same piercing orange. Yrsa isn't able to tell if the stone cabin is a house or a temple. She can however smell the whiff of rotting meat which she determines is about more than 6 days old.

Yrsa stealths back to the party and updates them of the situation. 'You know, I'm not a betting woman but I'd say the statue is magical and it will attack us the second we enter that area.' Kaman asks Akras if Troglodytes eat rotting meat. Akras says they smell terrible like rotting fish and doesn't know much else.

Since there is no alternate path, the party have no choice but to enter that area. Yrsa turns to Kaman 'if its Troglodytes and we have to fight, at least we're together. If there are no Troglodytes and there is that... statue thing. Maybe you can figure out a way to... doot ' in a kind of 'switch off' movement. The marching order changes to Yrsa in front, Kie behind her, Akras in the middle, Barra in the back with Kaman. The party proceed relatively stealthy with Barra trying to punch the walls to test for rock depth.

Barra looks at the statue and sees that it seems to be a heraldic symbol of a Manticore: it is a lion-headed creature with bat wings, large fangs and talons but it has a body of a lion and a stinging tail of a scorpion. Kaman starts waving his hands about to detect magic in the area which will take 10 minutes. Barra decides to chat with Kie '...so what's a peace-loving Monk like you doing here... beat up shit?' 'I'm here to use my training to -' 'beat up shit.' says Barra interrupting. 'no, to protect people. And if I have to 'beat up shit' then I have to, with no pleasure. It is violence, for the greater good.' Akras chimes in that as long as Kie is loving what she does, it's all good.

Kaman receives guidance from his deity Eijnar where he can see the weaves and flows of magic through glyphs. He can see through overlay there's a small bit of magic glowing on the Manticore's eyes and back of its head. There is a trace of abjuration (protection) magic on the walls of the stone cabin but not on the flagstones. Kaman goes back to update the party, Barra says that perhaps as long as they don't go into the house, they would be fine. Yrsa changes the marching order to Yrsa in front, Kie next to her, Akras in the middle, Kaman than Barra at the back.

Yrsa suggests the party to check for tracks, Kaman steps forward to investigate. He sees a lot of tracks, many of them fresh, and is hit by the smell of rotting flesh. There are fresh blood splatters on the ground stretching off to the left hand side of the stone building. 'I think that there's something here' whispers Kaman to the party. He reasons that something has been keeping or eating rotting food and its in that building. Kaman and Kie hear some sort of crawling movement happening on either side of the building. Yrsa suggests they retreat in the tunnel to regroup but just before they could move any further, 4 shambling Ghouls make their way from around the building, 2 on each side. Yrsa yells 'They're Ghouls! They're Undead! They'll try to eat you! Do not let them!'

A Ghoul on the left runs bounds on fours straight at Kaman. Kaman pulls up his shield to brace the impact, the Ghoul grips at Kaman's shield, he can feel its stinking hot breath just inches from his face. Kie dashes left and does a Bruce Lee style flying kick to the Ghoul attacking Kaman. She could feel her boot squish into the Ghoul's head as she kicks it off kilter.

A Ghoul from the right charges at Yrsa, running on fours, its jaw hanging loose off the side its mouth. Yrsa growls and swings recklessly at it with her axe, caving in what's left of its chest. Barra looks over to the Ghoul near Kie and Kaman and sings 'dissonant whispers' in an off key version of 'The Sound of Music'. The Ghoul looks up befuddled as if saying 'Wow what the heck was that?' and holds its head in pain, chunks of ooze leak out of its ears. Barra decides he'll sing an inspiring song to Kaman as he feels he's been a bit mean to him lately. Barra and Kaman were former shipmates together and have known each other for a long time. Barra sings a parody of 'Come On Over' to Kaman which inspires him.

Kaman falls back to Barra's position, shaking off the attack from the Ghoul. He hexes the nearest Ghoul and shoots a beam of Eldritch Blast. A red dot appears on the Ghoul's head and it suddenly explodes like a smashed watermelon. The impact splatters Ghoul guts all over Kie unfortunately. Yrsa, seeing this, yells 'It's ok, we'll SHOWER LATER!!' 'Sorry Kie!' hollers Kaman.

Akras pulls back to where Barra is, pulls out his crossbow, loads it, whispers a kind of spell which illuminates his crossbow bolt. He picks off the furthest back Ghoul on the left and fires. The shot leaves a gaping hole in the center of the Ghoul.

Another Ghoul from the right charges up to Yrsa who conveniently smashes it in the head with her shield. Kie sees the far back Ghoul that was shot by Akras rush up to her, she briefly loses her footing on some Ghoul guts and is slashed directly in the chest by the charging Ghoul! Kie does a flip kick off the nearest cavern wall but she misses her target and lands on the ground, she does a spin kick to recover herself.

The earlier Ghoul rips Yrsa's shield downwards and slashes into her, Yrsa parries back with the shield which bumps it off balance slightly. Barra says aloud 'Oh no! Our comrades are in trouble! Maybe we should run! I will choose my favorite member to help! YRSA!' He then sings a dissonant whisper of 'Cheek to Cheek' at the Ghoul who is biting Yrsa's shield. The Ghoul is seemingly enthralled, locks eyes with Yrsa and apes a waltzing movement! Goop and disgusting bits trickle onto Yrsa's shield.

'Aw, I feel a bit bad now, I said it out loud that I didn't like Kie so much, OH NO! I said it again! Right I'll do something about it!' Barra sings an inspiring song to Kie in a parody of 'All Star'.

Kaman switches target to the Ghoul attacking Kie. He hexes and blasts it with an 'Eldritch Blast'. The Ghoul explodes in a rain of innards all over Kie! Kie looks over at Kaman kind of grossed out, Kaman does a thumbs up sign from the back. Akras lines up a crossbow bolt at the 'waltzing ghoul'. A feathered crossbow bolt pins itself in the Ghoul's forehead but it doesn't seem to be much bothered by it.

2 more Ghouls show up on the left hand side of the building. One of them seems to be gnawing on an armored humanoid arm. The Ghoul behind Yrsa leaps in and tears a chunk out of Yrsa's neck while she is distracted by the 'waltzing ghoul'. Yrsa shakes off the poisonous bite and gets smacked in the face by the 'waltzing ghoul'. Kie leaps gracefully over to the Ghoul on Yrsa's back and punches it in the head. The blow slams into the back of the Ghoul's head who falls forward into Yrsa, Kie does a swift kick to the Ghoul which tears it off Yrsa's back. She turns around and smashes the face of the 'watlzing ghoul' driving the crossbow bolt deeper into its head.

'I DON'T WANT TO DANCE WITH YOU! CONSENT IS IMPORTANT!' roars Yrsa at the 'waltzing ghoul' who cleaves its head off with her battle axe. Kie gets splattered with ghoul blood and guts again... Kie is seriously grossed out and tries to pick the slime and muck off her.

Yrsa rushes up to the left side of the stone building to prepare to face the oncoming Ghouls and does a silly taunt dance 'YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY!!' Barra 'viciously mocks' the Arm Ghoul with a weak insult 'Hey! So er, we can tell that someone 'lent you a hand', but ah, you gotta give it back! I'm not very good at insults, because I'm generally A NICE PERSON! YOUR MOTHER IS A PIECE OF SHIT!' Akras looks over 'Aw yeah, you really go that one there.' The Ghoul looks up quizzingly at Barra as if saying 'that seems rather unnecessary.

'Right! Who should I inspire next?' asks Barra. In the distance, Kie caked in guts raises a ghoul covered hand. But after realizing that Barra only can cast 'Bardic Inspiration' 2 more times decides not to do so any more. Kie puts her hand down disappointed.

The Ghoul with the arm licks its teeth with its 2 foot long tongue, it hops over to Yrsa and slaps her with its disgusting tongue. Kaman grabs hold of some energy, redirects it to the arm ghoul and hexes it followed by a pistol finger to 'Eldritch Blast'. Yrsa tussles with the Ghoul and sees it reel back as a chunk of its head is blasted away by Kaman. The Ghoul next to the Arm Ghoul sees Kaman and scampers up to him. Akras drops his crossbow and pulls out his curved blade to swipe at the Ghoul but misses.

Kie pulls out a bottle of water, pours it into her hand and twists the water into a whip. She sends the whip over to the ghoul attacking Kaman and ensnares it brielfly. Yrsa disengages with the Arm Ghoul, yelling 'fuck off', she pulls back to the Ghoul attacking Kaman. 'STAY AWAY FROM MY FRIEND!' she howls and slashes down into the ghoul with her axe. The Ghoul bursts open with a huge gash across its upper body. Barra 'viciously mocks' the ghoul with a weak insult 'your mother is a piece of shit' Barra then jumps back behind Kaman who's holding back a Ghoul with his shield.

Arm Ghoul lurches up to Yrsa and slaps her in the back weakly. Kaman moves over to Kie's position and pistol fingers 'Eldritch Blast' at Arm Ghoul but unfortunately misses. The Ghoul attacking Yrsa continues clawing away at her shield, Akras steps in and slashes the ghoul, severing it apart! Guts and gore spray on Yrsa. Kie does a forward roll, pulls out her short sword and stabs Arm Ghoul from the side. Yrsa steps forward and executes 'Fury of the Small', violently slashing across Arm Ghoul.

'Don't worry girls!' says Barra, pulling out his short bow. He strikes a pose, twists his body back and fires the bow backwards. 'YOUR MOTHER IS A PIECE OF SHIT!' the Ghoul looks over and its head explodes. The party is victorious!

Akras praises Team 3 for a good fight, Barra goes over to the dead Arm Ghoul and picks up the humanoid arm it was chewing on. 'Give me that!' snarls Akras and snatches the arm from Barra. Akras inspects the insignia on the arm and immediately runs down the path on the left side of the stone building. The party give chase.

They see a half-eaten corpse on the ground next to another similar Manticore statue. It is dressed similarly to Akras, its faced mangled and its longsword strewn the ground. Akras looks visually distraught as he inspects the corpse for insignia. Kaman suggests to Barra they should give Akras a moment. Akras pulls a small pouch and a leather choker off the corpse's neck and pockets it. He stands slowly and takes a long pause. 'Alright Makra, I'll see you later...its been a pleasure...'

Kaman asks if there's anything they can do for Akras, but he says 'what's done is done' Barra asks how did Makra get separated and Akras has no clue either. Akras says he needs a moment to himself.

Barra wonders if the party should shleter in the stone building but Yrsa doesn't think its a good idea. Team 3 leave Akras for a bit and check out the side of the stone building. Barra runs back to the Ghoul corpses to see if there's anything useful there. He finds the Ghoul corpses are just rotting bits, nothing significant.

Kaman magically cleans the guts off Kie with prestidigitation. The party walk around the back of the building and see a heavily gated, banded door. 'We should punch it' says Barra suddenly. Kaman asks Barra if he knows what religion the Manticore statues are from. Barra knows that the statues are ancient but not of a religion he is familiar with. 'We should punch the statues' Says Barra.

Kaman asks Yrsa if he should examine the gate. Yrsa says the gate looks tightly locked up though and the statues around look protective. 'My gut tells me.. we might be attacked'. 'So should we give it a pass?' says Kaman 'BUT THEN, my gut also tells me, there might be treasure inside!' continues Yrsa.

Kaman says he can check if there are traps or booby devices. As far as he can tell, there are no traps. Kie tries to listen if there's any activity inside the room and doesn't hear anything. Yrsa will try opening the door anyway.

The door pushes open easily, unlocked. The party quietly enter the stone building. There is a dome of blue energy illuminating the room. 2 heavy caskets are seen on the left and right hand side of the room, a tattered series of banners hang at the back of the room. To the left and right are 2 heavily banded chests near the door.

As the party takes in their surroundings, 2 figures within the blue light turn slowly and look at the party...

END OF SESSION

Next Episode 5: Here Comes the Mirror Man

Previous Episode 3: Oh Barry! I'm Not Your Daddy

Back to Episode Listings